At last, my name got into Google’s Auto-Complete List!

But Philip José Farmer, an American author, principally known for his award-winning science fiction and fantasy novels and short stories, is listed above me. Also another guy is above me – Jose Philip D’Souza, a Member of Legislative Assembly in State of Goa – India.

According to Google, the Autocomplete / Google Instant is generated automatically by their algorithms.

“As you type, Google’s algorithm predicts and displays search queries based on other users’ search activities. For certain queries, Google will show separate predictions for just the last few words. Below the word that you’re typing in the search box, you’ll see a smaller drop-down list containing predictions based only on the last words of your query. While each prediction shown in the drop-down list has been typed before by Google users, the combination of your primary text along with the completion may be unique. Predicted queries are algorithmically determined based on a number of purely objective factors (including popularity of search terms) without human intervention. The autocomplete data is updated frequently to offer fresh and rising search queries.”

Here is what will happen if 1 Indian Rupee is valued at 45 American Dollars..$$! [FUNNY]

SCENE 1

Venue: Sun Microsystems, SanFrancisco , California, US

s/w engg 1: I’m with you man. My Visa is expected anytime. Soon I will fly to India

s/w engg 2 : Ohhh…. When is the party?

s/w engg 1: When I get it on hand.

s/w engg 2: Where will you be working?

s/w engg 1 : I’ll be working in Attingal

s/w engg 2 : Oh! Attingal. Great yaar. where it is…

s/w engg 1 : It is in Kerala.

s/w engg 3 : Fundoo place yaar. Nice climate Not like California. You’ll love the weather yaar. One of my friends is in Technopark, Trivandrum… He says it’s the ultimate place to live in. Cool maan.

s/w engg 2 : Who is the client yaar?

s/w engg 1: You know Attingal Municipal Corporation?

s/w engg 3 : Yeah. AMC. One of my friends is there in the Road Cleaning Division. Most challenging job yaar. People are working in the cutting edge of technology there.

s/w engg 1 : I’ll be writing software for the accounts department of the GCU.

s/w engg 2: GCU? what it means…?

s/w engg 1 : that is Garbage Collecting Unit.

s/w engg 3 : : Great yaar. That’s what I like about that country. You can get a job which requires all your skill. Not like here. See I’m writing software for the space shuttle remote control. I hate this.

s/w engg 1 : Don’t worry guys. I’ll give you my Hotmail id. You can send your resume to me and I’ll forward it to the HRD.

[Everybody takes down his Hotmail id.]

——  ——

SCENE 2

Venue : Microsoft Corporation, New York , US Some s/w (Software) engineers are seeing some photographs.

s/w engg 1 : What’s that?

s/w engg 2 : Bob’s photographs from India .

s/w engg 1 : Wow. Let me see. Which is this place?

s/w engg 3 : (Sees the photo) This is Airport  Road, bangalore

s/w engg 1 : Fundoo yaar! And what is this? He got Bajaj Pulsar also.

s/w engg 2 : Let me see (sees). This guy enjoys life maan…

s/w engg 3 : You know how much an Bajaj Pulsar costs? Nearly 70K….. Say it in dollars…

s/w engg 2: Oops. We can’t dream of such a thing here.

s/w engg 1 : Let’s go to India & try for a job.

[Everybody excited.]

——  ——

SCENE 3

Venue: IBM, New York, US

(Conversation between a Male s/w engg. and Female s/w engg.)

Male : Hi!

Female: Hi. You know. I’m planning to settle in India soon.

Male : What??

Female : Yeah. My marriage will be here in America only. He is doing his Ph.D in Bharthi University and he’s coming here for a month. His study will be over in 2 months. He’s already got a job in MSCB. We planned to settle in B’lore itself… I’m also planning to work there. Let’s see…

Male: Good luck… dont forget us & US…

——  ——

SCENE 4

Venue: Intel Corp. US

s/w engg 1: Great news guys. Our George has got admission in the St George College in Aruvithura with scholarship for B.A History. A great new field yaar…

All are excited…

George : Got my Visa yesterday. It’s all finalized now.

s/w engg 2 : Congrats yaar. So you are out of this country.

s/w engg 1 : B.A in Histroy…ohh. ..man, enjoy your life there?

s/w engg 2 : : Got full aid, eh?

George : Yeah. Got the UGC scholarship That will be 1200 Rupees per Year.

s/w engg 1 : Great. Enjoy.

s/w engg 2 : (Thinking loud): 1200 Indian Rupees…!

that means 1200 * 45 = 54000 Dollars… with that amount I can buy an three bed-room flat & a Mercedes here…!!!

—— ——

SCENE 5

A foreigner working in Bangalore as Software Engg gets a call from his Home ..

Father : What are you doing son ?

S/w Eng : Having breakfast ?

Father : what are you eating ?

S/w Eng: Cocunut Sauce and Rice Bread ie (Idli and Chutney )

Well I think BSNL (Bharat Sanchar Nigam Limitted – The leading ISP in India) needs to learn alot in the ISP field. You know what they used OpenDNS – A internet based DNS server, in the Wireless Land Line (WLL) service, to block different categorized sites. They included proxy, hacking too.. even a slight use any matter related to it will get yourself blocked from it!. Its good to use them to block Adult sites, but they block every server where any of the restricted items are used. Consider if I have a free hosting server, in that server all type of people will be there. Some may use proxy scripts or even their on inventions on hacking, and its more than enough for OpenDNS to block that server including all the good sites comes under their hosting!! And my free site hosted @ x10hosting – A really good free hosting provider if you ask me, got blocked too!! I didn’t used anything they listed as “BAD”.

And I tried a bit of my favorite web spots.. hurayy they all are blocked too!! I waited for them to change DNS system as I thought they might be testing it, but days passed nothing happened. I got angry on the Administrator of the ISP and mailed him the following :

Dear administrator,
Am happy that you took actions to block unwanted sites in this network. But you were wrong in this. Because almost every of my freedom to surf the net is now blocked. I don’t think people will like this policy. I have a website hosted at a well known free web hosting server. But it is included in the blocked list as someone who have an account there used proxy / anonymizer, now I can’t access my personal web page!!?? This is not right thing to do to a public network, please leave this DNS system to your private network if possible. There are lots of way to block unwanted sites(they are freewares too), the users of this network can use them if they want. May be you can conduct an awareness programme to let users know of it, but please leave this network open. I hope you get the seriousness of what I said. Please.. please atleast change the settings in the OpenDNS to allow more site categories. Thanking you for your “wonderful help”, JOSE.

I dont know whether they changed their stratagies because of my letter, from the next day all the DNS system was back to normal!!